This is an odd title for a post, but I like alliteration and this post is all about the people I met, the places I saw, and the penis I gained from my recent trip to San Mateo, CA.
PEOPLE...
Most obviously, I'd like to offer up my two cents about my surgeon, Dr. Marci Bowers. I found her to be extremely confident, competent, and friendly. However, she also had an unfortunate habit of not answering questions directly. For example, when my partner asked if Dr. Bowers would come out to the waiting room and update her on how my surgery went immediately afterwards, Dr. Bowers answered instead by talking about the recovery room and how S. wouldn't be allowed back right away. Fine, but that didn't answer S.'s question. (Luckily, Dr. Bowers did speak with S. in the waiting room and assuaged her nerves.) I attribute this lack of directness to Dr. Bowers' big brain and the fact that she is a great surgeon, if not an excellent communicator. I'm just grateful to have had a competent surgeon who consistently affirmed me, my identity, my relationship, and my body parts. She always called my penis a "phallus," never referring to that body part as a clitoris - a small word choice that meant a lot to me.
One other unexpected and valuable person in my experience of having surgery was Dr. Julie Nicole. Dr. Nicole is an OB/GYN who has been practicing alongside Dr. Bowers for several years now. Though I did not know she even existed prior to my pre-op appointment the day before surgery, Dr. Nicole has turned out to be a tremendous resource and an excellent doctor. She did not operate on me, only observed during my surgery. However, she has been my main point of contact for recovery-related questions. She came to my hotel the day after surgery for a follow-up visit, and I have text messaged and called her on the phone on several occasions in the past few weeks. Dr. Nicole has reminded me that healing takes time, and has answered any and all questions I've had along the way. The way she said it, "once a patient, always a patient," and encouraged me to save her cell phone number in case I ever need anything years down the road. She cited an example of a transman who lived in Wyoming calling her in the middle of the night from the ER, in need of a trans-competent doctor - apparently she talked with the ER doc over the phone to make a treatment plan, simultaneously educating a physician who had never treated a trans patient while providing comfort to her former patient. I've got nothing but great reviews of Dr. Nicole, and she's got a great sense of humor to top it off!
I also met another wonderful person during my visit to San Mateo, but this guy was in the same boat I was! Freshly out of anesthesia in the recovery room, the nurse wheeled another patient out the back door, but he stopped briefly to say "congrats, man." We exchanged a few words, though I can't remember what exactly was said... A few moments later, the nurse came back and gave me a piece of paper, a strange tone in her voice explaining that the other patient asked her to give this to me... "M." had written his name, phone number, and a brief note on a slip of paper. Sure enough, I texted M. a few hours later once I was back at the hotel, and we discovered that we had both had simple metoidioplasty - his surgery happened immediately before mine. What a welcome surprise! Throughout the months leading up to my surgery, I'd had trouble finding anyone in-person or over the internet who had had simple meta with Dr. Bowers or even folks who were considering it. I felt blessed and grateful that M. reached out, and it turns out that he's a great friend. We hung out a few days later, and realized just how much we have in common. We've leaned on each other for support in the past few weeks, texting about our healing concerns and swapping "dick pics." I certainly hope that we'll stay in touch in the years to come, building camaraderie in our shared experiences.
PLACES...
I didn't see much of the San Mateo area, besides the hotel we stayed at. So, I'll offer up my review of the hotel and a few of the other establishments we visited.
S. and I stayed at Bay Landing Hotel in Burlingame, which was located about 15 minutes by car from the surgery center and less than 5 minutes from SFO airport. I found a groupon for the hotel, which cost $160/night (including tax) for 4 nights for a "bay-view king room." It had a king bed, microwave, mini-fridge, all of the standard amenities, and a view of the San Francisco Bay. While the decor was a little stuffy for our taste, everything else about the hotel was fantastic. It was located right on the bay, with a nice little walking trail, close to the 101 highway. We enjoyed an abundance of food options every morning from the included breakfast. The bed was comfortable, the room was spacious, and the hotel was quiet. Seeing that I needed a lot of rest and relaxation, this was the perfect space to recover in for a few days.
We only ate out a few times, opting instead for fresh food from the grocery store and hoarding free breakfast food from the hotel. We ate at Elephant Bar, located next door to the hotel, once. It was your standard chain restaurant food, with cool decor and a view of the bay. We also ate at Magdaluna Mexican Cafe in downtown Burlingame - delicious!, and at Pancho Villa Taqueria in San Mateo - also delicious!
Another service I'd highly recommend to anyone traveling to San Mateo or the Bay area in general is Relay Rides. It's a car rental service that allows you to rent a car from a private owner. You can choose from a variety of cars of different prices, and it's cheaper than any of the chain car rental places. We had a great experience renting a blue 1997 BMW Z3 - a fun, fast little convertible that I only wish we could have taken out for a spin more often! It was raining the whole time we visited, so there were very few convertible-appropriate moments.
PENISES...
Or penis (singular), I guess I should say. The most validating and affirming part of the trip to San Mateo was getting my new and improved penis. While no skin grafts or major shape-shifting were integral to my simple meta, the internal sense of wholeness I've felt since surgery is incredible. I'll be writing a more in-depth post later down the road about my reflections on altering my body in this way, but for now let me just say: WOW. Dr. Bowers was right when she said that most of her patients' expectations are exceeded. I am incredibly pleased with my results, with how my dick looks and feels and with how validating it is to look in the mirror and feel content.
